When Martin Rooke, an Essex Freemason and member of Henry de Gray Lodge No. 6627, lost his wife Becky, his world narrowed to one small person: his daughter Rachael, just two years old.
As a grieving husband and father, Martin faced the immediate responsibility of caring for a very young child while coming to terms with his own loss. Becky, a nurse, had lived with mitochondrial disease and the daily reality of severe seizures, and her passing brought profound and lasting change to their family life.
Finding a way to explain such a loss to a toddler was not easy. Martin chose a simple story about a caterpillar becoming a butterfly—not as a broad metaphor, but as a gentle way to help his daughter feel safe and reassured during a time of confusion and absence.
When Martin shared this within Henry de Gray Lodge, the response was immediate and heartfelt. Rather than offering words alone, members focused on being present and providing practical, ongoing support. That steady and respectful care reassured Martin that he and his daughter were not facing their loss in isolation.
Through conversations with David Barton, also a member of Henry de Gray Lodge and founder of Get Started Art — a charity that uses creative activity to support wellbeing for people of all ages during difficult or challenging times — it became clear that Martin’s approach could help other families facing similar circumstances. From those discussions came the idea of developing the story into a children’s colouring book, designed to be calm, accessible and non-intrusive, giving parents and carers a practical way to support young children through bereavement.
When Essex Royal Arch Freemasons heard about the initiative, they responded with generosity and purpose. This support aligned naturally with their ongoing commitment to hospice care and family support across the county, including their £10,000 Christmas donation to local hospices and the time given by Companions who volunteered to collect Christmas trees to raise additional funds. Royal Arch Companions from Old Parkonians Chapter, together with Companions of the Combined Sports Chapter of Essex, also provided the funding needed to produce the book at scale, ensuring it could be shared wherever it might genuinely help.
As a direct result of that support, 5,000 copies are now being distributed across Essex to hospices, hospitals, funeral directors and family support services, including St Luke’s Hospices and Havens Hospices.
Deputy Grand Superintendent Excellent Companion Colin Felton said:
“Stories like Martin’s remind us of the profound impact that compassion and fellowship can have. Through the quiet, practical support of our Royal Arch Companions, personal loss has met with shared hope, and grief has been transformed into comfort for families across Essex. It is a powerful example of how our fraternity can make a real, tangible difference in people’s lives. I sincerely hope that our Royal Arch Chapters will continue to support this incredible initiative, ensuring that many more children and families can benefit from the care, kindness and guidance that our members so generously provide.”
This remains, first and foremost, Martin’s story: an Essex Freemason, a parent and a widower, finding a way forward for his child. The support that followed shows how Masonic fellowship — offered quietly and without expectation — can help turn personal loss into something that brings comfort to many others.
If your Chapter or Lodge would like to support this work through funding or involvement, please contact Get Started Art about supporting the bereavement colouring book initiative
